Striving for Excellence in Taqwa & Character

Posts tagged ‘moral’

Building your child’s Islamic Character

By Shamim F

Kids_Hiding_Behind_Autumn_Tree (2)

Moulding your child’s akhlaq, moral conducts

Our moral conducts (akhlaq) are like our garments, visible to all. Working on perfecting our akhlaq is part of our religion.

Principles of moral conduct:

Adab is that which is praiseworthy in actions and utterance and considered the best of ethics. Islam offers boundaries and measures by which adab can be taught, for instance in dealing with one’s parents, interacting with scholars, family and neighbours etc., how to dress, how to worship and general politeness.

Truthfulness – taught by way of example as children often learn from what they see.

Trustworthiness and honouring confidences – raise your children to be discreet and honourable, even a statement said in confidence is a trust that must be honoured.

Pure of Heart – train your children to pure in their hearts and discourage spite, envy or insincerity by nipping it in the bud. Teach them to forgive and move on.

 

Emotional and Psychological welfare

Principles of building emotional and psychological strength:

Affection/Play– always try to be affectionate and loving. Play with your children. The Prophet of Allah would show affection to children and demonstrate his love and concern for them by wiping their hair, particularly the orphan children.

Give gifts – as the Prophet of Allah said ‘Exchanging gifts lead to love’

(al- Tabarani)

Meet them smiling – let your children feel you value their company and enjoy them being around you.

Show your concern – by asking them how they are, showing interest and sympathy.

Be just and fair – always be fair in dealings with your children to avoid breeding jealousy amongst them.

Restrain yourself – do not fall into the trap of over-indulging your children as it will be destructive in the long term.

 

Developing healthy children

Play is a natural instinct that Allah bestows on all children. It is a means to develop their physical body and an education in life. Physically healthy bodies are better able to worship Allah with consistency and energy, and a healthy start in life will increase you child’s likelihood of succeeding.

Principles of building a healthy body:

Child’s right to learn sports – it is one of your child’s rights to be permitted physical exercise. Archery, horse-riding and swimming are recommended. In addition to being both physical and educational sports have many other benefits, including:

Social: learning how to interact with people in different situations

Moral: a lesson in right and wrong, dealing with success/failure

Innovative: they often encourage new ideas

Confidence boosting: opportunity to learn new skills.

Stress reliever: sports often provide a vent to release any stresses etc.

Friendly competition and play – competitions are good motivators and allow a sense of ‘community’ and ‘togetherness’ to develop between the competitors.

Play with your children – the Prophet of Allah would play with his grandsons and would allow them to play with him.

Note: never allow your children to play out of doors after sunset.

 

Intellectual and academic development

Acquiring knowledge is an obligation on all muslims. As per Hadith in Sahih al-Bukhari, our Prophet Muhammad (May peace be upon him) said: ‘Educate, make it easy ; not difficult,..’

Principles in developing the intellect:

Motivation – plant the love of knowledge an learning in your child early on. Inspire them with the Hadith extolling knowledge and those who seek it. Recognise their achievements with tangible rewards.

Memorise the Qur’an – create an achievable plan for Qur’an memorisation and work on their and your ikhlas.

Find righteous teachers  and tailor goals according to each child’s needs and capabilities. Work towards maximising their strengths and passions.

Arabic language – Arabic is the key to the Qur’an and Hadith and allows one to access a vast library of Islamic works.

Make knowledge accessible – invest in good books and a comprehensive Islamic library.

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Alkauthar Institute Weekend Course – ‘Parenting Matters, The art of raising Righteous Children’. Taught by Sheikh Alaa Elsayed.

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The Heart of the Matter

By Hasfa I

 Gilr_face_and_heart (2)

A community imbued with moral uprightness always ascends. This is a universal principle that holds true at all times.  Children of good character are the building blocks of a successful community. Cultivating strong Islamic values and identity in early learning prepare children to be well balanced and nurtures healthy minds.  We want to raise our children to be well rounded characters that are disciplined, responsible and contribute to the community, an asset to the ummah.  The following are a few tips to help you build that strong character Insha’Allah.

The Foundation of Eman

Connect your child to the pillars of eman: belief in Allah, angels, books and revelation, messengers, the last day, divine will and predestination.  Teach your child lailaha ilallah that there is no God worthy of worship except Allah. The first sound our newborn child hears is the testimony of faith via the adhan being read near his ear.  Children are born on the fitrah so belief in the oneness of Allah is a part of their natural make up.[i] As an example the prophet Luqman’s (as) main focus was to establish Allah in his son’s heart by teaching him tawhid, that Allah (exalted he)  is One and the Only and He has no partners or associates. That Allah has knowledge of everything and is aware of everything you do.[ii]

Your Child is Unique

Appreciate that your child is an individual and certain aspects of their personality traits you cannot change.  This will allow you to work with your child to nurture him and guide him to reach his full potential that Allah has bestowed him with.[iii]

To Love and Rely on Allah

Remember Allah and his blessings together.  Explain to your child that whenever you remember Allah, angels surround you, mercy covers you and Allah mentions you to his angels.[iv] Nurture your child to love Allah by teaching him through everyday conversation who is it that provides us with everything and why it is important to obey Allah. When your outdoors admire the creation and comment how beautiful it is and how Great and Perfect Allah is.  Through your actions teach him how to make dua to Allah using His beautiful Names and Attributes, do a dua list together. Try to make a habit of reading 2 rakaats with your child and make dua to Allah, your child will soon pick up that when he wants something to first and foremost ask Allah.

And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).  And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him.  Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose.  Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.[v]

To Love Allah’s Messenger and His Companions

Children love stories, provide them with the best examples of role models. Teach your child according to his level of understanding the life of the Prophet  (peace be upon him)  alongside teaching them Quran.   Tell them of the stories of the children around the Prophet (peace be upon him) how they fought those who tried to harm him, how quickly they responded to his call and obeyed his commands. How the Sahabah loved that which the Prophet (peace be upon him) loved and how they memorized the hadeeth.

Anas (ra) narrated that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

‘You will be resurrected with whom you love’[vi]

Build a Relationship with The Quran

Ibn Khaldun said teaching your child the Quran is among the banners that must be raised when raising him.  Explain to your child what the Quran is and why he is learning to read and understand it.  If you as a parent love and have a relationship with the Quran it’s so much easier for your children to have that as that love rubs off on them. Children love to imitate their parents.  Teach Quran in a beautiful calm environment so that your child wants to stay there longer.  Motivate your child by telling them that there is reward even for the one who struggles with his pronounciation of the Quran in fact that person’s reward is more since he is struggling to learn the word of Allah.[vii] Spend time with your child discussing the meaning and tafseer of what is being recited.                                                                            

In conclusion, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said

“Shall I tell you who are the best among you? The best of you are those who when seen are a means of Allah being brought to mind.”[viii]                                   

May Allah grant us the ability to raise our children with Ihsan (excellence)  and  who remind others of Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him)  ameen.

 

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Alkauthar Institute Weekend Course – Parenting Matters, The art of raising Righteous Children’. Taught by Sheikh Alaa Elsayed.

[i] Quran 7:172

[ii] Quran 31.16

[iii] Productive Muslim: Raising Productive and Confident Muslim Kids (part 1)

[iv] Muslim

[v] Quran 65:3

[vi] Bukhari/Muslim

[vii] Bukhari/Muslim

[viii] Tirmidhi