The Terrible Twos

by Hafsa I

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Temper tantrums are a normal part of your child’s development as he learns self-control.  Almost all children have tantrums between the ages of 1-3yrs, they are often called ‘the terrible twos’. It can be a very stressful period.  Much of the difficulty we experience with our children is related to how we communicate with them. Often we are frustrated with their non-compliance and much of what we say in response to our children although may make sense to us at the time is totally ineffective.

Terrible two tips

  • Provide limited choices

For example would you like cereal or toast?

  • Establish a regular routine

Children thrive on routine it makes them feel secure and under control.  Teach your child the Adhan  Allahu Akbar (Allah is Greater…) when we hear it to stop and listen, Allah is Greater than any task you are doing.

  • Lead by example

Your child is a mirror of you be careful how you react and handle  situations.

  • Positive reinforcement

Children will respond to consistent, proper positive reinforcement. Praise and complement them when they are doing well.

  • Encourage independence

Let them do some tasks on their own without your interference. Nurture self-esteem, your job is to prepare them for adulthood and independence.

  • Healthy eating

Food has a direct impact on blood sugar levels, their emotional well being, and how they respond to stressful situations.

  • Enforce reasonable consequences consistently

For example remove a toy for a period of time or time out. They will learn over time to better control their behaviour if they have consistently suffered a consequence.

  • Stay in control

Don’t take their behaviour personally and don’t engage them with the same negative energy. You need to separate yourself from the behaviour emotionally.  Try to understand what they maybe feeling and use empathic knowledge.

  • Privacy         

Remove them from public view and take them to a private place i.e. to the car, dressing room, a room. Do not tell them off in front of others. The key is to reduce stimulus and calm them down. When they do calm down discuss what happened.

Consistency is probably the number one rule in parenting. Be consistent with your reaction and the consequences you assign as a response to bad behaviour.

It’s important to remember behaviour doesn’t change overnight. It may take many months before a child’s behaviour starts to dramatically improve so be patient experiment and try different approaches.


Alkauthar Institute Weekend Course – Parenting Matters, The art of raising Righteous Children’. Taught by Sheikh Alaa Elsayed.


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