Your Parents and Your Children

by Hafsa I

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In our role as parents raising upright well rounded children, it is important to teach them obedience and kindness to parents. This is an act of ibadah because after obedience to Allah and his Messenger (peace be upon him) is obedience to one’s parents.

“Say not to them (so much as), “uff” [1]

Allah makes this profound statement to show us that he Has accorded the highest of stations for parents.  He reminds us not to say even a word of disrespect to our parents and to address them in terms of honour.

Our parents are most deserving of our companionship even over fard kifayah (congregational obligations) acts. Looking after them and their needs has precedence over Jihad, Hajj and at the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) even visiting him, let alone over our spouse, friends or voluntary worship.

Our parents being our second creators deserve our mercy and compassion more than anyone on earth. The Prophet (peace be upon him)  warned us that how we treat our parents will reflect on how our children treat us.  He said:
“Be kind to your parents and your children will be kind to you.”[2]

Your mother, your mother, your mother

In pain she bore you, in pain she gave birth to you and with hardship she nursed you.  Your mother has three times the rights of your father. She is your first point of comfort.  “Where do you find Paradise?” The Prophet (peace be upon him)  said:

“Paradise is at the feet of the mother.” [3]

Subhanallah  our deen has placed our ultimate reward in our devotion to our mothers.  Dear sisters remember the number one woman in a man’s life is his mother and the number one man in a woman’s life is her husband.   Let us take this opportunity if we haven’t done so already to go and kiss our mother’s hand, the one who raised us with her bare hands.  Likewise let us reach out to kiss our father’s forehead the one who provided for us and who bought the bread home.  .

How we can benefit our parents?

  •  Perform Hajj/Umrah on their behalf.
  • Pay off their debts.
  • Give sadaqah, udhiyah, create a waqf (endowment) for them.
  • Share the good knowledge they taught you.
  • Be righteous so they may benefit from righteous offspring.
  • Fulfill and honour their vows.
  • Honour their acquaintances as your parents cared for them.

And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”[4]



Alkauthar Institute Weekend Course – Parenting Matters, The art of raising Righteous Children’. Taught by Sheikh Alaa Elsayed.

[1] Quran Ch17:23

[2] Narrated by Abu Hurairah As-Suyuti

[3] An-Nasai 3104

[4] Quran Ch17:24


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