Setting the Standard – Raising Confidant Muslim Kids! (2 of 2)

Our primary goal and basic purpose is to develop the consciousness, love, fear and hope of Allah in our children (Taqwa). As my children were growing up, I tried to figure out ways of creating the fear of Allah in them. One thing that worked well , was sharing a name of Allah  and its attributes- this worked wonders for me. I choose the Ar RAQIB (the watchful) – if children can understand that the Ar Raqib sees them, hears them and is watchful of all they do, this will be a fantastic achievement. Now that they are grown up and have a better understanding of issues and Allah’s laws – they have come to a realisation that it’s best to tell the truth, be kind and loving to others and always striving to the do right things because Allah is watching. Also in Surah Fajr Allah tells us  “For your Lord is watchful” (Q89:14).

The name could also  be used to explain to children that Allah is the ultimate protector – I tell my children “my powers to protect is limited”,  and that Allah SWT is the ultimate protector – the one who does not leave them for a blinking for an eye.

A child begins to develop an aptitude for putting his/her trust in Allah knowing that HE is protecting them at all times and also is ever watchful of all the things they do, the child’s courage and sense of security in Allah grow immensely.

Developing Ikhlas (sincerity) for Allah  – by  teaching them all about sincerity to their creator, HE is the one they are ultimately responsible to at the end of the day – it’s been my experience, that cultivating the fear and sincerity to the servitude of Allah in our children. Cements a solid  foundation on which the rest of the Islamic principles and a strong identity are built – as they journey through life. 

This is not to say that we will not be met, with obstacles and challenges, the thing that hits us the hardest and the most is life itself – Allah has said in a verse “Do you think we will not test you…?. As moms will need to remain strong, patient calm and always remain in the driving seat, most importantly maintain self-control in the face of all trials and times of frustrations – we will rise above the challenge Insha’Allah.  We are not perfect and should not aim to be super moms! Perfection belongs to Allah SWT.

The goals of motherhood will Insha’Allah is achieved by two means by;

  1. Building in our children Islamic personalities and Islamic attitudes through an Islamic ally-oriented family life.
  2. Building into them a clear and dynamic understanding that Islam is a total system of life for man and his society provided for him by Allah SWT and hence superior to any system or ideology which man can devise.

Our strength as moms’ lies in unity within the family, examples of the mothers of the believers – they did it with drive, conviction and devotion – so I ask what is stopping you and me? We were conceived and born in the same manner as them.  These were women of knowledge, power, confidence, strong drive, faith and resolve and a strong commitment to achieve Jannah, we need to emulate these women – my fellow moms let’s resolve now to make a great commitment in these moments to shape our destiny and that of our children, with a view to leaving great legacies behind, and on the day of accountability – stand with a beaming face in front of Allah saying – I performed the role you assigned with Ihsan (excellence), my children can bear me witness – as you reach to receive your salary from Allah! – visualise and conceptualise this moment and start working towards it today, right NOW!  And anytime you feel yourself waivering or doubting your ability to be an excellent mom call on Allah for strength and courage – and keep moving forward.

As moms when we hit those moments of frustration and overwhelming feelings of failure and guilt set in – default to dhkir mode and as ask for Allah’s unfailing help. Never despair in the hope and mercy of Allah.

Allah tells us he is close to us than our jugular vein.  “Verily the help of Allah is (always) near.” (S: 214)

What productive steps can we start with today?

Let’s start by knowing our children by building rapport with them before we go on to develop other behaviours that will bring about a great Muslim in the future. Then we will be able to apply the appropriate principles that works for the child – remember one size does not fit all!

So moms just do it – and remember to call on Allah has you embark on your magnificent journey, Allah says “When my servants question thee concerning ME I am indeed close (to them), I listen to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on me (Q2:186).

I implore you to work hard as if everything depends on you and pray hard as everything depends on ALLAH because it does!

Today is called the present, because it’s a GIFT from Allah!


Mommy Coach

Khafayah Abdulsalam



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